Love isn’t blind, we are

They say love is seeing an imperfect person perfectly. This saying has been romanticised and written as Facebook statuses by numerous girls in love right around the world. The only problem I realised with this saying is a trend emerging rapidly, one that is not doing any woman out there any good.

You see most of my friends, including myself, had or are at the moment living through this saying to the extreme. I am talking about those girls in a relationship with a guy that literally does every single thing wrong while she is just sitting there complaining about it, but staying with him through all these things.

They say love is blind and I have experienced this in my previous relationship. I too was in a relationship where the guy didn’t treat me the way a guy should treat a lady. And I actually knew the things he did and said was unfair to myself and my well-being, but I just didn’t want to admit it. You see MyBFF’s, I think that the problem isn’t that love is blind, but that we as women are the one’s closing our eyes to the truth.

We allow men to treat us unfairly and without respect. We are the one’s that are chasing men and doing everything in our power to make things work with the wrong person. And what is the wrong person you might ask? Any guy that:

  • Changes every disagreement into a huge fight.
  • Blames everything on you, including the things that he is doing wrong.
  • Always puts his friends’ and especially his girl friends’ above you.
  • Never stands up for you and allows people to disrespect you.
  • Talks mean or bad to you or about you, like saying you are stupid for saying something or like calling you names because of the things you like.
  • Forces you to change into someone you are not.
  • Takes you away from your friends and your family.
  • Tells you what to wear, what to do, how to act etc.
  • Makes you feel insecure.
  • Disrespects you.
  • And the list goes on…

The point is, most of us have dated this guy or are still dating him. And something I don’t understand is why? Why do we hang on for so long and why do we keep thinking this person will change? Because the truth is, he won’t. He will never change and it is not because he is a bad person, it is because you are not good for each other. And I think the person to blame for a guy treating us this way, unfortunately, is no else than us. And this is the harsh reality.

We, as women, stopped being ladies. We stopped being “Cinderella’s” waiting for our prince and instead took over his job for him. Why would any guy respect you if you make it so easy for him. Now I am not talking about playing hard to get, I am talking about setting your standards high, knowing exactly what you want and not giving in until you find it. We are giving in too easily, going for the “next good thing” because the best thing is taking too long. Don’t you know that the best things in life are worth waiting for?

And here is another thing: STOP believing that you are not good enough. Just stop! Because I promise you, you are. You are worth loving, you are worth caring for and you are worth fighting for and I can promise you the right guy will know this.

It is time that we stop making as if every man out there is God’s gift to women and start finding the real men out there who aren’t afraid of caring for you and showing it. Who are not afraid of fighting for you and supporting you in everything you do. And this will only happen when you start demanding the best for yourself. So the next time a guy takes you out, make him fetch you at your door, greet your parents (if you still live with them), open the car door for you (and honey you don’t get into that car until he does) and take you home before a certain time. Make him work for your heart. A guy loves a challenge and the reason why they have wandering eyes these days is because we are boring them out giving them everything on a silver platter.

It is time we start respecting ourselves enough to let the frogs go and wait for our Prince Charming’s to come and save us. Know what you deserve (the best) and wait for it. And believe me, he will come when you least expect it. And he might be someone you never would’ve thought could steal your heart. It is time to open your eyes MyBFF’s…and who knows…maybe you will finally see what’s been standing right in front of you…

God's promise

Photo credit: uniquelifeguide.com

Photo credit: uniquelifeguide.com

Support Movember

It’s that time of year again when most of our male friends grow a mustache to support male cancer survivors and those still fighting the disease. Because of this we see a new trend emerging in November and have to prepare ourselves for mustache global domination. Luckily this means that we, as girls, can also participate in this movement and support the guys in need. Here are some of my favourite ways to do so:

Photo credit: wheretoget.it

 

Photo credit: aliexpress.com

 

Photo credit: amperstache.wordpress.com

 

Photo credit: blog.magpiejewellery.com

 

Photo credit: ashleightimchenko.blogspot.com

 

Photo credit: aliexpress.com

 

Photo credit: bakingishot.com

 

Photo credit: cutiousoddities.wordpress.com

 

Photo credit: glamour.com

 

and my favourite…

 

Photo credit: skreened.com

 

2MyBFF 4 Movember! ❤

MyBFF’s “what” at first sight…

Irresistible eyes (preferably blue) and strong arms and shoulders that can hold you…these are the first things that catches my eye when meeting a guy for the first time. It is also the physical features that makes me weak in the knees! When it comes to personality, confidence and a good laugh is always key.

Here is what some of you had to say about what you first notice in a guy and makes your heart melt…

Charné, 20

“In the summer I usually look at a guy’s legs…if he has beautiful legs, he is usually attractive. Otherwise I also love a guy with a beautiful smile and nice hair.”

xoxo

Michelle, 19

“Hmmmm confidence!”

xoxo

Monique, 19

“Definitely his eyes…the bluer the better!”

xoxo

Marizelle, 19

“I look at his smile or his back…or wait, his hands? [Laughs] Can’t decide.”

xoxo

Tanya, 19

“I first notice his eyes and that first eye-contact that lasts for a few seconds…”

xoxo

Anneke, 24

“For me, the most attractive thing about a man is his face and I love his legs, and then, obviously, the way he smells!”

xoxo

Angeliz, 16

“When a guy makes jokes and has confidence.”

xoxo

 

So, what is your x-factor?

10 Reasons why I love being a woman…

1. Zac Efron

Photo credit: flickrhivemind.net

2. Matt Lanter

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3. Channing Tatum

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4. Robert Pattinson

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5. Ian Harding

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6. Kellan Lutz

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7. Chace Crawford

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8. Alex Pettyfer

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9. Taylor Lautner

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10. Jesse Metcalfe

Photo credit: flickr.com

Dress your BF

The benefits of having a boyfriend is helping him with style. I always liked men’s fashion more than women’s fashion. I don’t know…there’s just something about a sexy guy dressing in a manly, fashionable way [I know you agree]. Therefore, I made a list with all the sexiest styles for your BF!

Rainbow denim

Coloured skinnies and denim are one of the hottest trends right now!

Photo credit: esquire.co.uk

Pair this trend up with a blue denim shirt for a “can’t keep my hands off you” look.

Photo credit: lovefashion.co.za

Sexy shirt: Check!

With Dallas returning to our screens, checked shirts have emerged again. This manly trend is definitely going to steal a few hearts this season.

Photo credit: allensecret.blogspot.com

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Revenge of the Nerds

Being smart is back in fashion and boi am I glad about that? Nothing is more handsome than an intelligent man who dresses successfully. So here is to making geek, chic.

Photo credit: nerdwithheels.com

Photo credit: main.stylelist.com

Roll up the hotness (TREND ALERT)

Patterned Rolled up sleeves, shorts are a rising trend starting to sneak up on us. Get this latest trend for your BF before everyone else does!

Photo credit: ebay.com

Photo credit: amazon.com

Mint anyone?

Mint colour is a huge trend at the moment. Incorporate it into a basic like a T-shirt.

Photo credit: ssense.com

Photo credit: ssense.com

In his shoes

Throw away his old, bulky sneakers and replace it with updated, trendy CVO sneakers.

Photo credit: en.sperrytopsider.nl

Photo credit: brandcatcher.com

Top it off with a straw Fedora

Photo credit: justjared.com

Photo credit: justjared.com

Where to shop for these trendy looks?

My top 5 are:

  1. Markhams
  2. Guess
  3. YDE
  4. Truworths Man
  5. BOGART

10 Reasons why you should let him go…

We all know those irritating articles about “How to survive a breakup” and “Easy steps for a healing heart”. Easy? Have these people lost their minds? [You know that’s what you’re thinking].

Well, out of experience, I know that these articles do nothing but serve as thorn in your side. The reason for this though, is because in your heart (and head), you are not ready to let him go. Why? Good memories. For some reason the good memories are all us girls think about when going through a break-up. Remembering how he called you at night when you couldn’t sleep or how he kissed you unexpectedly. My only question then is: why didn’t it work? And then comes the harsh reality: The memories weren’t all good, [were they]? So stop. Stop thinking about all the good stuff and replace them with the things that caused you to fight and break up. That is the only way you will get over him and realize that girl, YOU DESERVE BETTER! So stop making wishes upon a wishing star and start thinking about the 10 Reasons why you should let him go…

  1. The things that made you fight, whether it was not standing up for you or him allowing other girls to flirt with him.
  2. He wasn’t there when you needed him the most.
  3. He ran away and broke up with you, rather than staying and fighting to keep you.
  4. He made promises he didn’t keep.
  5. He made you believe in FOREVER (you know you believed it deep down).
  6. He was OK, when your world came crashing down.
  7. In front of his friends, he held his pride like he should’ve held you (Taylor Swift song lyric: Story of us. Go Listen now 🙂 )
  8. He doesn’t want you, but gets mad when other guys consult you.
  9. He goes out of his way to make you jealous after he had broken up with you [he wants to prove that he’s still “the man”].
  10. “You cry alone and then he swears he loves you” [The red Jumpsuit Apparatus: Face down lyric. Earlier post in my blog]. This reality is the hardest one to face and the reason why it is listed at number 10. We never want to hear this and we keep ourselves blind for this fact BUT: if he really, really loves you, you wouldn’t be alone right now and he would’ve done everything in his power to keep you not only in his heart, but in his arms

Maybe one day he will realize what amazing person you are, but on that day you will lay in someone’s arms who already knew it. And that is the true beauty about love…

Relationship tips

We all know that men and relationships can be difficult. The saying: Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars, is not far from the truth! As girls we want to give love and spoil our boyfriends rotten. But when does it become too much? Another problem is actually getting your crush to like you back. It is a science of its own and we, no matter how hard we try, are no professor or scientist in this particular field.

Photo credit: open.az

Luckily I bought the book Fabulosity by Kimora Lee Simmons. This MyBFF’s, is a book worth reading, giving you tips for just about everything in life and inspiring you to be the best version of yourself. It is in this book where I learned a lot of tips and rules for relationships. I made a summary for you that will hopefully help you in your relationship life.

Kimora Lee Simmons tips for romance [2006: 194-208]:

  1. It’s up to us to demand the best and show men the way we deserve  to be treated. (And I think we sometimes fail ourselves in that respect).
  2. “Never play games, tell him how you feel, be vulnerable and show your heart” – it’s so bogus! It drives me nuts because it’s just going to get a girl in trouble! A certain amount of thought and strategy has to go into romance because our whole aim here is to maintain dignity and be a little harder to win.
  3. Date for pleasure. Do it because it makes you laugh and you have a good time.
  4. Don’t be over-available. When a guy is calling you on Friday to go on vacation on Saturday, it means you were not the first one on his list. Say no! And eventually don’t you know those Friday night phone calls turned into Wednesday night phone calls and eventually Monday phone calls…
  5. I’ve always felt like women are worth so much, and we are so valuable and a lot of men don’t get it. And it’s up to each woman to show a man exactly how valuable we are.
  6. Ignore his craziness. We as women analyze every little thing that comes out of men’s mouths, but sometimes you’ve got to just pay their craziness no heed.
  7. Men are intimidated by power but also attracted to it. They can’t take beauty and brains, so they act totally nuts, like little kids who can’t make up their minds. So give them an unneedy woman, and they don’t know what to do! BUT they can be taught!
  8. Set yourself apart. Make conscious decisions to behave differently from other woman. It’s about doing little things that make yourself individual and special.
  9. Be prepared to walk away. I was always willing to walk away. Not because I didn’t love him, but I knew what I wanted and was evaluating whether it was the right fit.
  10. Put yourself first. Don’t be the woman who needs that man; want him, work for him, love his corny sense of humor…but you know you’ll survive just fine without him, too.
  11. Don’t expect fairy tales. (aren’t we all guilty of this one?).
  12. Believe your cheat-meter. [Don’t be this girl] Their man is fooling around on them, and they probably know it inside but refuse to see it.
  13. Be clear about what you will and will not stand for.
  14. Communication is key to everything. Pick your battles and let some things go, but if something’s bothering you, you should speak up about it or you’ll blow like a pressure cooker.
  15. It’s not true that you have to find the person who wants to do every little thing with you. More important is to have great communication, talk to one another, maintain honesty, and laugh a lot. That’s what keeps the glue tight. Do you have fun together, or not.
    [All rights reserved: Fabulosity, what it is & how to get it by Kimora Lee Simmons]

    Photo credit: fashionbomdaily.com

    Use these guidelines and see the improvement happen. We need to be a bit sneaky in life. Guys are difficult to understand, but with these tips we might beat them at their own game.

    Photo credit: inspirationaldaily.wordpress.com

    I leave you with the words of Mary J. Blige: “You might be having a bad day, and he might be having a bad day. But who will put on a smile so that the other person can have a good day?”.