They say love is seeing an imperfect person perfectly. This saying has been romanticised and written as Facebook statuses by numerous girls in love right around the world. The only problem I realised with this saying is a trend emerging rapidly, one that is not doing any woman out there any good.
You see most of my friends, including myself, had or are at the moment living through this saying to the extreme. I am talking about those girls in a relationship with a guy that literally does every single thing wrong while she is just sitting there complaining about it, but staying with him through all these things.
They say love is blind and I have experienced this in my previous relationship. I too was in a relationship where the guy didn’t treat me the way a guy should treat a lady. And I actually knew the things he did and said was unfair to myself and my well-being, but I just didn’t want to admit it. You see MyBFF’s, I think that the problem isn’t that love is blind, but that we as women are the one’s closing our eyes to the truth.
We allow men to treat us unfairly and without respect. We are the one’s that are chasing men and doing everything in our power to make things work with the wrong person. And what is the wrong person you might ask? Any guy that:
- Changes every disagreement into a huge fight.
- Blames everything on you, including the things that he is doing wrong.
- Always puts his friends’ and especially his girl friends’ above you.
- Never stands up for you and allows people to disrespect you.
- Talks mean or bad to you or about you, like saying you are stupid for saying something or like calling you names because of the things you like.
- Forces you to change into someone you are not.
- Takes you away from your friends and your family.
- Tells you what to wear, what to do, how to act etc.
- Makes you feel insecure.
- Disrespects you.
- And the list goes on…
The point is, most of us have dated this guy or are still dating him. And something I don’t understand is why? Why do we hang on for so long and why do we keep thinking this person will change? Because the truth is, he won’t. He will never change and it is not because he is a bad person, it is because you are not good for each other. And I think the person to blame for a guy treating us this way, unfortunately, is no else than us. And this is the harsh reality.
We, as women, stopped being ladies. We stopped being “Cinderella’s” waiting for our prince and instead took over his job for him. Why would any guy respect you if you make it so easy for him. Now I am not talking about playing hard to get, I am talking about setting your standards high, knowing exactly what you want and not giving in until you find it. We are giving in too easily, going for the “next good thing” because the best thing is taking too long. Don’t you know that the best things in life are worth waiting for?
And here is another thing: STOP believing that you are not good enough. Just stop! Because I promise you, you are. You are worth loving, you are worth caring for and you are worth fighting for and I can promise you the right guy will know this.
It is time that we stop making as if every man out there is God’s gift to women and start finding the real men out there who aren’t afraid of caring for you and showing it. Who are not afraid of fighting for you and supporting you in everything you do. And this will only happen when you start demanding the best for yourself. So the next time a guy takes you out, make him fetch you at your door, greet your parents (if you still live with them), open the car door for you (and honey you don’t get into that car until he does) and take you home before a certain time. Make him work for your heart. A guy loves a challenge and the reason why they have wandering eyes these days is because we are boring them out giving them everything on a silver platter.
It is time we start respecting ourselves enough to let the frogs go and wait for our Prince Charming’s to come and save us. Know what you deserve (the best) and wait for it. And believe me, he will come when you least expect it. And he might be someone you never would’ve thought could steal your heart. It is time to open your eyes MyBFF’s…and who knows…maybe you will finally see what’s been standing right in front of you…